"On Becoming a Sexologist: Dr. Michael's Story"

 

 

I worry not who will be offended if I speak the Truth;
I worry who will be mislead, deceived and destroyed if I don’t.

 

 

On Becoming a Sexologist—My Story

Or,

"Accidental Sexologist No More!"

 

Michael Ra Bouchard, M.A., Ph.D.
Board Certified Clinical Sexologist

 

 

In loving memory of all my dear friends and neighbors
from the French Quarter of 1980's New Orleans

 

 

April 2020
(40-45 minute long-read)

 

Dear Reader,

People often ask how I went about becoming a sexologist. I suppose it’s only natural to wonder, “Just how the heck does a person actually decide on becoming a sexologist anyway?” And perhaps to further inquire, “And is that even a real thing?”

Very good questions!

Let me answer the second question first, since that’s the easiest—yes, the study and profession of sexology is indeed a “real thing.”

The cross-disciplinary sexual science of sexology began earnestly in modern time history in 1930’s Germany with Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld, an outspoken advocate for sexual minorities, who would later found the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee and World League for Sexual Reform. The results of Dr. Hirschfeld’s efforts, along with the seminal work of Dr.’s Freud, Reich, Ellis, Adler, Bloch, Moll and Horney, all of whom were prominent leaders in their respective fields, propelled the German-speaking world to quickly become the international center of medical-scientific sex research. And the birthplace of two new and distinct professional disciplines, sexology and psychoanalysis.

The field of medical/scientific sex study soon spread to America in the 1940's and 50's, where it quickly established itself as a prominent field of research, primarily due to the gifted influence and strong foundational work of an already renowned entomologist—later destined to become “Father of American Sexology”—the eminent sexologist Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey. Along with his team of equally dedicated sex researchers at the Kinsey Institute, composed of Dr.'s Pomeroy, Martin and Gebhard, these American pioneers of sexology soon captured the entire nation's rapt attention with their groundbreaking and celebrated research in the sexual behavior of the human male and female, an influence that is still felt strongly today all these many decades later. 

Indeed, upon publication of their cutting-edge and comprehensive research—Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953)—whileinitially shocking the nation, each book quickly catapulted into phenomenal best sellers, despite the fact they were written in highly technical and scientific language, and totally lacking photographs or illustrations. These two books were the Kinsey Institute's first major contribution to the understanding of human sexuality. Moreover, these two monumental volumes—which soon became known simply as "the Kinsey Reports" to avoid embarrassment when asking for them in a library or bookshop—frequently required the printing presses of that era to run 24/7 for weeks at a time in a vain attempt to meet the apparently insatiable demand of the early 1950's public for accurate and informed sexual knowledge! Who knew?

Before I complete this segment, allow me to present the most accurate definition of sexology—one that the vast majority of highly educated professional sexologists believe to be entirely proper and best suited for defining our area of expertise—provided to us by none other than Dr. Kinsey himself:

 

Sexology is the scientific study of what people think and do sexually

 and how they think and feel about it.

 

And that, dear friends, is the long and short of it.

To anybody asking, I would regularly report mine was a profession that I had more or less found myself “involuntarily conscripted into” with virtually no conscious intention of my own at the time. I would often add that in many ways I had long viewed it as a naively made, not particularly well thought out decision on my part; indeed one very much akin to my dozen or so years earlier, equally naively made, not particularly well thought out decision to enlist at the tender age of 18 into the United States Marine Corps. Albeit only this second time around, thankfully, without having to undergo the totally radical new haircut followed by an unrelenting 13 weeks of pure hell dished out non-stop daily for 16 straight grueling hours by fiercely dedicated yet totally-over-the-top Parris Island Drill Instructors!

As shall soon be made plain, it was for very good reason that I viewed my so-called career development as decidedly serendipitous rather than premeditated from start to finish. Looking back on it now—had I then had looking-glass/crystal ball technology to peer into the future on that late afternoon back in 7th grade, when each of us in my small after-school advanced study group was asked by our praiseworthy junior high school principle what we were planning on becoming when we grew up, I might have gotten myself into even more trouble than I already soon would. 

Namely, when it was my turn to respond, had I instead declared myself a future “sexologist” rather than the future “garbage man” which I actually proclaimed to the great amusement of my fellow knucklehead buddies, there’s no doubt in my mind I would have gotten an even bigger licking from my decidedly un-amused father later that same night than the one I had unknowingly just initiated countdown to receive.

For you see, my no-nonsense Dad would soon learn about that flippant response of mine from our immediate next door neighbor; that very same principle, Mr. Plimpton, who—unlike my father—had found my response absolutely hilarious and had told him as much when passing in front of our homes that very evening, having expected Dad would also find it funny. Although as Mr. Plimpton would shortly explain to me, he had immediately regretted having done so upon seeing as how my father was anything but amused by it. On the contrary. Consequently filled with remorse and consternation, Mr. Plimpton had belatedly recognized he had just unwittingly gotten that little class clown neighbor of his into big-time trouble.

Conscience-stricken, first thing the next morning that dear man called me down into his office, and after carefully closing the door behind us he asked me to take a seat. He then genuinely apologized for getting me in trouble with Dad, although I countered it was my own fault anyway for acting like a goofball and sneaking a snicker. Then we both had another good laugh about it again before he sent me scooting back to my classroom. Funny thing is, I’ll bet Mr. Plimpton would have cracked up even harder had I actually declared myself a future sexologist, bless his gentle spirited, sweet-natured heart. Yes indeed, perhaps some things truly are best left unknown until such time they occur; in my case, becoming a bonafide Doctor of Sexology, an achievement not fated to happen until a full quarter-century later.                      

The beginning of my unplanned career as a sexual health professional began during the early days of my work as a New Orleans Crisis Line and Suicide Prevention Telephone Counselor in 1981. Unbeknownst to me then, that period happened to coincide with the newly identified and burgeoning—yet mostly silent and still unnamed—HIV/AIDS epidemic which had just recently begun to be spoken about, though even then, only in hushed tones. As a young man of 25 years, doubly equipped with my “Honorable Discharge certificate from the Marines and a freshly minted undergraduate degree in marketing psychology earned thanks to my G.I. Bill benefits, I was newly relocated from New Hampshire and working in the predominantly—though far from exclusively—gay French Quarter of 1980's New Orleans.

I had completed my military tour of duty the previous year, fortuitously serving in peacetime as a trombone playing musician in the United States Marine Band. Now here I was, delighting in my good fortune to hear live jazz played daily by original Dixieland Jazz greats, then in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, many of whom I had first discovered five years earlier while enrolled as a music major just prior to my military enlistment. Incredibly, in this birthplace of jazz, these same living legends were still making spirited music wafting full-throttle through the open doors and windows of neighborhood jazz clubs and into the streets for passerbys to freely relish.

Many times I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, just as I and my fellow bandsmen had done several years earlier during a recording session in Disneyland Studios, when the Marine Band accompanied the incomparable jazz virtuoso Ella Fitzgerald as she belted out a specially written new little ditty, entitled—“Happy Birthday, Mickey Mouse”—on the occasion of that world famous rodent’s 50th birthday celebration. Craziest thing is that darn mouse is over 90 years old today!

It was during this same amiable period that a previously unknown infectious disease also newly arrived on the French Quarter scene, silently skulking in. This was when medical professionals were still referring to it by the acronym “GRID”—for Gay Related Immune-Deficiency Disorder—when describing this devastating and essentially previously undetected wasting affliction which officials would soon be calling “AIDS”—for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. 

Seemingly springing out from nowhere, this stealth embodiment of death had quietly surfaced to patiently lay in grim ambush, deftly readying at its capricious whim to zero in upon its hapless targets with deadly accuracy by means of hidden “sniper fire” that would in short order seemingly be springing out from everywhere. 

Of that pre-crisis time, in retrospect you could rightfully say we were blissfully unaware of the incoming tsunami of suffering that was even then directly rolling in and which would soon in one way or another crush upon us leaving nobody in its wake untouched by its ferociousness.

To make a long story short, over the next four years while earning my second undergraduate degree in the social sciences at the University of New Orleans, I found myself happily living and working as a well-adjusted straight/heterosexual man in an openly gay community amongst thousands of gay friends and neighbors.

I felt right at home in this vibrant and wonderfully eclectic neighborhood of fellow free spirits both gay and straight alike. Albeit at times, uncannily similar to how I imagined the typical looking and acting wholesome “girl next door” blond cousin felt amongst her atypical and equally wholesome yet “decidedly different” looking and acting relatives in the 1960’s era television comedy, “The Munsters.”

Only my journey was also mixed with more than a generous dollop of jazzed-up Alice In Wonderland-like gay cultural disorientation thrown in for good measure! Even so, at the time I considered this “full immersion experience” to be my very own private and unendingly fascinating “sociological study” of a newly liberated and proudly empowered sexual minority community, one never failing to daily crack me up or somehow or another leave a smile upon my face. Indeed, those were halcyon days. Life was good.

Until that is, one day when everything changed; that day abruptly and virtually without warning arrived in the early eighties when suddenly we found ourselves under wanton sneak attack. It was then that I and many others—gay and straight alike—first began observing an alarmingly broad swath of our friends and neighbors literally wasting away. Soon after, many throughout our community commenced wearing an ill-suited death mask, and even more horrifyingly, began dying before our very eyes.

Suffice it say, previous to the arrival of HIV/AIDS, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever that my so-called private sociological fantasy study—as I quietly thought of it then, and only between my own ears at that, mind you—would shortly completely devolve before quickly reassembling and morphing into an all too real case study about life in a thriving sexual minority community amidst an imminently bursting forth pandemic.

Thus, what had essentially started off as a lark for my own private amusement and edification soon took on a whole new life of its own as this rampantly spreading disease changed the lives of everyone in its path in one way or another forever. Even now, all these many decades later, it still deeply pains me to vividly recall the completely overwhelming feelings of fright, frustration and worst of all, an all-pervasive sense of powerlessness we all felt over slowing—let alone stopping—this stealth killer from which our beleaguered community was then under heavy and relentless bombardment.

Only much later would I learn that these extremely powerful emotions were common to those of us operating in the front lines and center field of this brutal, unexpected and undeclared war, especially in those first, often misinformed and little understood early years of this horrifically infectious plague. Nevertheless, stubbornly determined to do more than simply stand idly by while watching the seemingly never-ending, heart-wrenching deaths of my friends, neighbors and community, I was inspired to personally begin what would ultimately evolve into a lifelong study of human sexuality, sexual health, and behavioral change psychology. 

In early 1982 these efforts lead me to undergo training as a volunteer safer sex education street outreach first responder within the heavily infected and highly morbidly impacted French Quarter of New Orleans. Over the course of the next five years, in my role as a volunteer safer sex education street outreach worker for the New Orleans AIDS (NOAIDS) Foundation, I provided one-on-one sexual health and safer sex education to anyone who would listen.

I served the straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community as part of a small, yet dedicated and determined army of health professionals working together and dearly efforting to stem the tide of this insidious disease in any way possible. It was a slow slog, and admittedly I and my fellow street outreach workers had to frequently battle our own nagging fears and haunting despair that, despite our best efforts well intended as they were, the results we appeared to be achieving seemed all too similar in effectiveness to those gained whilst sweeping the ocean tide.

Each passing year and ever increasing numbers of men young and old continuing to be cut down in the prime of their lives only served to increase the determination for those of us on the front line. With little hope on the horizon for a cure, our spirits at times admittedly took a thrashing. The enormous pain, fear and suffering enveloping us daily, impossible to avoid in this mercilessly devastated community, served to further my resolve to somehow make a difference in helping to alleviate the pervasive ignorance and discrimination fueling this immune suppressing disease.

Worse yet, it spawned a psychological counterpart and second theater of battle—fear—the insidious enemy which those of us in the front lines referred to as “afrAIDS.” After five emotionally brutal years of fighting this uphill, never ending battle I earned my second undergraduate degree to graduate with distinction from the University of New Orleans at age 29. Though not before being elected for scholarly excellence by university faculty and awarded a full scholarship to attend the Universitat Innsbruck Austria as a 1986 University of New Orleans Goodwill Ambassador. Upon returning from my studies in Europe, I was accepted into the University of New Hampshire’s counseling psychology graduate school that fall.

Over the course of the next 3 years, I would earn a double Masters of Arts degree in Clinical Counseling Psychology, while concurrently researching, designing, implementing and evaluating—all as a one-man band sexual health educator—the very first HIV/AIDS prevention pilot program on the University of New Hampshire campus. And while nearly 35 years has now passed since I first designed and delivered one of my very first peer-to-peer “safer sex” workshops to my fellow UNH graduate and undergraduate students that fateful fall of 1987, I still vividly remember reading one particular feedback sheet, collected anonymously as always at the end of each workshop, with its initially perplexing and admittedly stinging yet ultimately invaluably insightful comment: “You don’t have to be so serious.”

Initially taken aback by this evaluation, I silently glared at that one-liner as my eyes vainly scanned the otherwise blank form for meaning. My initial reaction was, “BUT OF COURSE I DO—don’t I?” as my thoughts raced in genuine anguish and confusion. After all, had I not just come from the front lines and battle weary Ground Zero trenches chock full of the dead, dying and shell-shocked walking wounded—myself included?”

And just like that, I suddenly stumbled upon and identified the root of my problem, namely, my own personal “war weariness” coupled with my as yet undiagnosed PTSD gained over the course of 5 long years of “fighting the good fight” and slugging it out in the streets of the New Orleans French Quarter against this brutal, take-no-prisoners plague.

Hence, unlike at the battle front where there was no need to “sugar coat” the reality of the situation to invoke “love glove” compliance with my fellow war weary community members—as we tongue in cheek referred to condoms in the undisguised battle-hardened trenches of New Orleans—a profound realization slowly began to dawn on me that I needed to take a much different tack with this much different college community. Essentially, that here in the relatively still plague untouched, bucolic rolling hills of this New Hampshire campus my decidedly “heavy on the gravitas” delivery—while well intended was yet admittedly full of “doom and gloom”—would require not just modification but a complete revamping from top to bottom.

Namely, from then on I clearly understood that I would need to focus on teaching both how to be safe and have fun while doing it by using a generous dollop or two of well placed humor; suffice it to say it was one of those light bulb “aha!” moments in my professional development as a sexual health and disease prevention educator. In retrospect, it all seems so very obvious to me now, as I would indeed later learn while making over two hundred thankfully much more successful presentations over the next 3 years.

Ultimately, my field research and crisis sexual health education/behavioral change outreach at the University of New Hampshire would evolve into my later published 1989 Master’s Thesis. More importantly, my research would go on to provide an early model to others on researching, designing, implementing and evaluating peer-to-peer HIV/AIDS Prevention Programming on the College and University Campus. As astonishingly as it seems to me even now all these many decades later, back then, already 10 years into this worldwide plague, my prototype peer-to-peer safer sex education outreach pilot program was actually one of the very first of its kind programs on any college or university campus within the entire United States.

Moreover, and to my great surprise and deepest honor, my efforts in doggedly delivering hundreds of safer sex workshops on that campus, combined with scholarly excellence in my studies, resulted in an unexpected and special recognition. Namely, my nomination by the Director of the Counseling Psychology Graduate School, Dr. Angelo Boy, and subsequent election by graduate school faculty, to receive an annual award given to one student each year for “applied philosophical scholarship”—the 1988 “Thomas O. Marshall Fellowship” award—from the Department of Education Graduate School at the University of New Hampshire.

Shortly after, in the summer of 1989 just prior to completing my graduate school studies at the University of New Hampshire, I would serendipitously attend what would later reveal itself to be a life-changing event. After reading a mailed promotional flyer passed on to me by a colleague who had rightly surmised I might be interested in attending, I enrolled in an 8-day, 80-hour pioneer HIV/AIDS prevention "train the trainer" seminar soon being held clear across the country 3000 miles away. 

It was expressly designed for sexual health educators/disease prevention workshop leaders like myself, and entitled the “Sexual Health Attitudes Restructuring Program,” sponsored by the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality—a highly respected, one-of-a-kind in the world graduate school for sexology—located in the beautiful city of San Francisco. Together with 50 or so other enthusiastic attendees, composed of dedicated professional health educators from a wide variety of helping professions who, like me, had flown in from all across the nation and four corners of the globe hoping to learn how to better fight this pandemic, I soon received the best sexual health behavioral change intervention training of my entire life.

Following the end of this cutting-edge “first responder” sexual health behavioral change training—consisting of 10 grueling yet exhilarating hours per day of instruction for 8 days straight—I felt inspired to apply for enrollment as a full time student. To my great delight, I was subsequently accepted as a clinical sexology Ph.D. candidate at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, beginning the following January of 1990 immediately upon completion of my Master's degree with honors from the University of New Hampshire in December of 1989 at age 33. And just like that, the next stage of my "just in time" professional development revealed itself in all its perfection—yet again.

As a full time doctoral candidate over the next 5 years, I would rigorously study and attend high-quality lectures from hundreds of highly accomplished and respected professional health and sexuality experts from around the world. It was my good fortune to receive a broad and comprehensive education in a wide variety of specialties, each having something to do with normal and/or abnormal human sexuality ranging from A to Z, as well as subject matter involving proven and effective sexual health behavioral change solutions. Graduating with honors in late 1994 at age 37, and now armed with my Clinical Sexology Doctorate of Human Sexuality—along with a quiver-full of highly specialized certifications in sexology and sexual health behavior change—I set out to meet my destiny as a newly minted sexologist.

Over the next three decades I would establish a successful worldwide practice—as a dual board-certified clinical sexologist and erotologist in private practice; worldwide telephone distance counselor for all sex & relationship concerns; sex therapist; love, marriage and relationship counselor; Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) counseling specialist; behavior change specialist; sexual health educator; pioneer/first responder HIV/AIDS/STD/STI prevention specialist; sex researcher; graduate school professor of counseling psychology and human sexuality; teacher of ethics and human morality; sex offender relapse prevention specialist; online counselor; sexual rights activist; domestic violence prevention advocate; pioneer online sexual advice columnist; print/radio/television sexual advice expert; published author; speaker; poet, philosopher, and all around positive change agent—while variously based in San Francisco, Manhattan, Maui, Alaska and the Big Island of Hawaii. And the rest, as they say, is history!

Hence as previously noted, while I may have initially thought of myself as an “accidental sexologist” for the first decade or so of my career, over the following years I gradually through squinty-eyes began to perceive the many previously unseen and unrecognized “chords of destiny” at play. It is only now in retrospect decades later that I see a natural synchronicity, a kind of “Cosmic Divine Order” at work behind the scenes.

From today’s vantage, I easily see the hand of this unseen force behind the curtain that was directing and indeed carefully choreographing my ever evolving and expanding pursuit of knowledge and higher education in ultimate preparation for a career as a counselor/health educator specializing in relationships and sexual health behavioral change. And so it happened that I eventually began to recognize and accept without any further reservation my now seemingly inevitable—perhaps even predestinated—fate to provide effective, highest quality help along with unsurpassable, precious hope as a Doctor of Human Sexuality in my professional capacity as a proud 3rd generation member of American sexologist. Accidental sexologist no more!

Far from it; as it turns out there was absolutely nothing whatsoever “accidental” about my becoming a professionally educated and trained counseling sexologist. On the contrary, my well-travelled lifetime as a youth was crucial in the development and expansion of my innate gifts of humanity, open-minded natural curiosity, nonjudgmental observational skills, and inborn acceptance of intrinsic sexual diversity. And likewise, greatly contributed to my accumulation of the virtues of care and concern, kindheartedness, helpfulness, compassion, empathy and soul-driven determination to be of service to others towards fulfilling my God-given potential. All of which, in hindsight, had a major role in very methodically and thoroughly preparing me for my longtime career as a sex researcher, counselor, and sexual health educator. 

Sexology is an honorable multi-discipline profession, and it is my great honor to play a small, and yet nonetheless I hope vital, role as part of a long line of distinguished American sexologists preceding me, many of whom I have been privileged to meet, work with and learn from personally over the years. Including being blessed with wonderful opportunities to personally study under the aegis of two widely acknowledged giants in the field of sexology: Dr. Kinsey's right hand man and fellow pioneer sex researcher, the late Dr. Wardell B. Pomeroy, and acknowledged Father of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” (REBT) and founder of the still operating Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, eminent psychologist and sexologist, the late Dr. Albert Ellis.

I remain committed in my work as a counseling sexologist, and pray that through God’s Grace I may be worthy to continue helping my clients for a long time to come. Specifically, by assisting them in identifying, releasing, healing and cleansing their mental, emotional and physical fields of all self-sabotaging programs and unhealed patterns, deceptive and defective social programming, ruminating negative thinking, resentments, grudges, regrets, co-dependency, emotional wounds, traumas, and wrong conclusions.

All of which continue to cause otherwise avoidable pain and suffering in our lives and relationships until they are appropriately addressed, reharmonized and healed, and whenever necessary, forgiven and released. These are the winning strategies necessary to effectively deal with our emotional, mental, physical, social and spiritual maladies, thereby leveling life’s playing field to go forward with greater ease and increased positive expectation in our daily living. Only henceforth without being constantly seized by the clutches of fear, doubt and negativity.

Bringing me now to current times—which once more finds humanity, in what I can scarcely believe is now 40 years later, struggling yet again in the midst of another worldwide pandemic—as I begin to approach the final winter stage of my long and fruitful career as a sexual scientist, health educator and behavioral change expert. And while I’ve unquestionably come a very long ways from my early days as a volunteer first responder fighting the then new HIV/AIDS pandemic in the French Quarter streets of circa 1982 New Orleans, the memories of those days both happy and sad, and especially of the countless dear friends and neighbors that I had witnessed dying firsthand during those years, have never faded from my mind. Truth be told, I expect they never will.

And while I rarely speak of it publicly (never before until now), in a profoundly personal way you could rightly say that ever since that God-awful decade I have dedicated my life in service as a sexologist to the memory of all my dear friends and neighbors who were ruthlessly struck down far too early by this death-sentencing disease—I will never forget them. I will also never forget all I learned from my time within this vibrant community, both about living and dying, not the least of which was the importance of being true to thine own authentic self and subsequently giving yourself permission to “Let your freak flag fly!” To each their own; knock yourself out.

It’s a lesson I also quite literally took to heart, as four decades later finds me a proud patriot flying my very own scarlet and yellow—complete with eagle, globe and anchor—official USMC freak flag fluttering directly under "Old Glory" waving in the wind from a 25 foot flagpole planted smack in the middle of my wife's front yard flower garden.

 

 

 

And though it can still quickly bring a tear to my eye when recalling this emotionally devastating period, as indeed it has more than once during the course of writing this deeply personal and revealing autobiographical article, experience has shown that the citadel within my cranium crammed full with many memories of easy camaraderie and frequent laughter never fails to provide the best bunker from which to battle, beat back, and bulldoze through bubbling up bouts of the blues.

Experience has taught me that bringing to mind and dwelling upon all the many good, just plain fun and blissfully unaware of what was to come years of life in the French Quarter before—and especially during—this terrible time is by far the most effective antidote for neutralizing heavyheartedness and bereavement. This hard-won “looking on the upside” approach always brings me great comfort when needed—most recently while writing this essay—for even through tears, my cherished memories of those good times never fail to crack me up or crease a smile upon my face—exactly as they did so long ago “back in the day.”

For you see, the 1980's was a brief yet glorious time when many of those composing an oppressed sexual minority had not just found but truly come to personify the laissez les bon temps rouler (Cajun French for let the good times roll”) philosophy. In large part, this was due to the French Quarter’s never ending, over-the-top, year-round Carnival-like atmosphere, coupled with a social mindset where tolerance—and genuinely respectful acceptance—of diversity, along with a general attitude of permissiveness for living large in every realm, was not only common but indeed the rule. And so it is there, within this precious treasure chest full of good and heartwarming memories of that period, that I turn to when needing to find refuge from these long ago yet still achingly painful losses, simply by recalling those happier, pre-pandemic times.

With infinite gratitude, I’ve also since discovered that doing so goes a very long ways in helping to balance my sadness and smooth over the rough edges around the forever unfillable hole in my heart created by their continued absence and long ago departure from this Earth, sadly compounded over the course of the next two decades by the untimely deaths from HIV of many more dear, irreplaceable friends, clients and colleagues worldwide. Surely the countless good men and women that have ever since died from this merciless disease, not just within my little community but from all around the planet, are still dearly missed by their friends and loved ones. I know I still miss them. May God bless and rest all their beautiful souls.

Viewed from today's vantage, had an even-handed evaluation of the situation been taken then from all the residents within my French Quarter community during that tempest tossed 1980’s decade, I like to think the vast majority would completely concur with the famous all-inclusive appraisal of a similarly mixed-bag, bygone era made well over a century earlier by Charles Dickens,
 

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.”
 

Permit me now to close this portion with a personal aside, for all the previous recollecting has brought to mind the following brief and pertinent anecdote, to wit: My verbally reserved career Marine father never said much to me about my own career choice, until one day at a family gathering at my folks Maui home I overheard a friend ask him point blank just what he thought about the field of work his son “the sexdoc” had chosen. Naturally curious as to what he would say, I leaned in to hear my now retired military Dad reply in his typical New England laconic manner without missing a beat, “Well, I guess SOMEBODY’S got to do it; I’m just glad it’s not me.”

You just can’t make this stuff up! No Sir, this coming from a tough as nails true American superpatriot, highly decorated Marine infantryman Master Gunnery Sergeant Fred Bouchard—a 30 year active duty combat veteran of not just one but of two brutal ground wars, Korea and Viet Nam—who saw it all first hand, upfront and up close, yet somehow amazingly coming through it both times without a scratch. Who would willingly rather face literal enemy rapid fire machine-gun bullets and incoming bombs bursting in air under the most hellish of conditions—for real—than listen to woebegone miserable mortals suffering from sexual dysfunction and marital strife from the comfort of an overstuffed chairTo put it mildly, keep in mind that due to a Marine infantryman's hazardous job description, it is not without sound rationale that some smart-ass Navy sailors have been known to refer to Marines as “Bullet Stoppers” although—if they've got a lick of sense in their sailor-capped heads and don't want their pretty-boy white uniforms getting all messed up—it's usually quietly muttered under their breath behind our backs!

Upon further reflection and to come full circle in regards to my thoughts regarding my Dad's career choice, I now quote none other than that very same incongruently mild-mannered, sagacious modern day gladiator father of mine, “Well, I guess SOMEBODY’S got to do it; I’m just glad it’s not me.” To each their own; knock yourself out. A score of years later following that picnic, after a long happy retirement with my Mom, and having lived an honorable and full life—unlike many of his long fallen comrades in arms with whom he had faithfully served—my fine American father passed away peacefully in bed. Surrounded by his loving family and devoted life partner of over 60 years—his beloved, supportive and demurely self-sacrificing career military wife, Lucille—he died exactly on his 79th birthday, like some kind of ultimate yogi guru or something. Semper fi, Yogi Dad!

Even now, although it's been over 25 years since that memorable family gathering, the recollection of Dad's authentically unvarnished response that day never fails to crack me up! Thinking about it again today, it appears that fate may have had a hand in determining what would come next for me upon first leaving home and heading out on my own as a young adult. Moreover, perhaps also in determining the location to which I would one day return as a middle aged adult professional eager to build my new counseling sexology practice—now fully equipped with 4 university degrees in my trusty academic quiver—and settle in for the long haul to make my stand.

Although lamentably, only this time I would arrive by jet liner rather than by ocean liner. Indeed, when events leading up to my eventual return—after an absence of nearly 30 long years—are recalled and reviewed from the vantage of my earliest memories as a toddler throughout my youth and early adulthood as the Number One Son of an early 1950's through early 1980’s active duty, rightfully proud and thoroughly dedicated career Marine professional warrior, my eventual homecoming now seems anything but “accidental.”

Quite the contrary, actually. As would shortly be revealed to me at the end of a long 6 hour San Francisco originating flight upon which I was jetting over to the Islands in late 1993. At that time, I was returning to the Islands for the first time since leaving Hawaii as a boy with my Mom and baby sister nearly 30 years earlier in 1965, shortly after seeing Dad off from the pieralongside countless other families with sobbing wivesas he and his battalion suddenly shipped out of Pearl Harbor on a Navy troop ship with the official first contingent of 3000 combat unit U.S Marines. Unknown to them then, they were destined to shortly make the very first amphibious landing on the beaches of a very exotic sounding, far off landcalled Viet Nam.

As the flight crew began making preparations to land I sat absorbed in quiet reverie, fondly recalling that long ago journey when just the three of us had flown back to the mainland in a propeller-powered aircraft to rejoin our New Hampshire extended family while awaiting our eventual joyful reunion with Dad a little over a year later. Lost in my thoughts, I distinctly remember being snapped back to the present by a most melodiously assuring professional pilot's voice announcing, Ladies and gentlemen, if you look out the window to your left you can see the Hawaiian Islands.” Naturally, I quickly scooted across the aisle to the empty left side seats for a look out, and just as my eyes laid upon them I suddenly heard a booming voice that seemed much too close-by suddenly exclaim, “I'm home!”

So jarring in fact was this intrusion into my personal space that I immediately glanced over my shoulder to see who the heck had just uttered it, only to discover that there wasn't a single soul anywhere near me. To my great shock, it quickly dawned on me; that very assured proclamation had spontaneously originated from none other than myself! Indeed, my never ceasing to amaze me Spirit had literally just given an enthusiastic shout-out to inform me that I had now come full circle. Shoots, just thinking about that magical moment now as I write this sentence has me choking up. For in reality, as I had unexpectedly come to realize while happily gazing down upon those beautiful islands at the end of that memorable flight back over the Pacific Ocean—that yes indeed, after all these many years away—I truly had finally returned home.

You see, like all military families, my proud patriotic Dad and his likewise proud patriotic family were routinely uprooted and relocated every few years and sent to new duty stations in a slew of states extending from California to Virginia to Maine. That includes once setting sail for Hawaii from enchanting San Francisco Bay in 1962 as a wide-eyed 4-year old lad. I clearly recall standing topside with my family on a circa 1950's Matson ocean liner and cruising under the distinctive reddish-orange Golden Gate Bridge before navigating the vast Pacific ocean over the next five glorious days of puffy cloud-filled skies at sea. Entering busy Pearl Harbor, a team of tugs came out to meet and guide us past the recently dedicated USS Arizona Memorial to our ship’s berth.

While that was 60 years ago, I remember it like yesterday. I had arrived in style at my father's new duty station, where over the next four years I would be blessed to wondrously spend my formative years—and decades later, to meet and marry my native born wife and make my permanent homehere in my beloved Hawaiian Islands.

In the end, our family would pack up and move from one state to another over a dozen times to new towns and schools beginning shortly after my birth until I turned 18. Having fully embraced the peripatetic pedigree literally within my familial bloodline, in hindsight it now seems as though that 1970's 4-year hitch of mine in the Marine Corps may have been as inevitably fated as my eventually becoming a sexologist. Whoever woulda thunk it?

Then again, looking back on it today, I was actually given an inkling of things to come a few years earlier, if only I had been paying better attention at the time. Specifically, an event one late afternoon in the latter 1960’s when I had unexpectedly popped into my father's place of work at the U.S. Custom's House at the U.S/Canadian border in sleepy way upstate rural New York (where dairy cows far outnumbered people) hoping to catch a ride home after junior high band practice. To occupy my time while waiting for him to finish up for the day, my Marine Corps recruiter Dad sprang the Marine’s official aptitude entrance exam as a “pop quiz” on me for kicks.

He then left me alone to sit quietly at a small table filling in answers from inside a large hallway storage room just around the corner from his third floor recruiter office, all the while as I frequently glanced up from my test and out the large wide open French windows directly in front of me. For just beyond—less than 100 yards from where I sat and in full unobstructed view from my elevated perch—lay an enormously distracting never-ending parade of colossal ocean freighters all in glorious motion!

And all seemingly at once letting loose a clamorous cacophony of fog horn blasts, toots and whistles hitting every note on the scale while purposefully making their way up and down the nearly two miles across ocean-inland shipping channel mighty St. Lawrence River Seaway that elegantly comprised the American and Canadian border. Incredibly, in spite of my eyes having been hopelessly glued to all the mesmerizing river activity before them, I still somehow contrived to finish up that long test just moments before his return about an hour later to retrieve and score it.

I will never forget the strange “who are you?” look my father gave me—as though I had suddenly sprouted a set of antennas—upon returning to the room after scoring it. Nonetheless, with all sincerity and gravitas of speech despite still wearing that peculiar grin on his face, he strode over while warmly extending his right hand to his then 90 pound dripping wet 12 year old son for a hearty handshake while booming, “Congratulations! You passed the aptitude entrance exam and now qualify to join the Marines.”

We shook hands as I laughed and said a ride home was more of what I had in mind, and then promptly forgot all about it for decades—or so I’d thought until now, anyway. Indeed, only today in retrospect does it dawn on me that my popping by Dad’s office for a ride home that day may have actually changed the trajectory of my life.

All the more reason to believe me regarding my voluntary enlistment a mere six years later, after passing that same aptitude test yet again although thankfully under much less distracting circumstances, when I say that neither I

Nor my soon to be beaming from ear to ear, dignified ramrod bearing with war weathered face, impeccably spit and polished, Marine Corps Dress Blues arrayed, combat medal-bedecked, highest enlisted rank in the Marine Corps Master Gunnery Sergeant old-timer father in well-pleased parade ground Graduation Day audience attending his still wet behind the ears yet equally bursting with pride son's graduation with distinction and meritorious promotion to Private First Class from Marine Corps Boot Camp—ever saw that one coming!

And to top it off, although much to my young self-conscious chagrin at the time, shortly before my 1975 departure for Boot Camp three months earlier our local statewide newspaper had had a field day with this genuinely uncommon event. Namely, sending over a staff photographer to record and then prominently featuring a large photograph of the grizzled, buzzcut, and crisply uniformed veteran Marine Recruiter solemnly administering the military Oath of Enlistment to his boyish-faced, longhaired, and civilian sweater clad brand-new Marine Recruit/18 year old son as he likewise solemnly swore with right hand upraised to “…Support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.”

Pretty cool looking back on it now as a grizzled “old guy” myself close to 50 years later.

The happiness I experienced that day graduating from Marine Boot camp has been superseded just once, and that was the day I married my precious wifey, Noelani. And that includes all four of my university graduation days that followed. Without doubt, that very special Parris Island South Carolina military Graduation Day with my whole family from New Hampshire in attendance will always be one of the very best days of my life.

Dad and I would serve the next four years as father-son active duty Marines. It was really great—but that's another story for another time. What matters most about this dual set of so-called “accidental occurrences” is that I'm the better man for it today—twice over.          

Thus ends my now hopefully understandable digression into my military family background, and its subsequently profound influence to this very day upon my generally unflappable demeanor, overall relaxed yet duly respectful formality, and mild-mannered character development. All of which continues to serve as grist for the mill in preparing me well for Life, in all its dignity and dirt. Funny enough, when looking back on it now, I can't imagine it happening any other way.

And so without further ado, that about wraps up this much more revealing story than I had originally set out to write about my journey of becoming a sexologist.

However, I would like to add a quick postscript before moving on to the next section. Long ago I promised myself never to write an autobiography, being by nature decidedly introverted and a rather private sort of person with a pronounced aversion to the limelight or of drawing attention to myself.

And yet, over-imagination blessed fellow that I nonetheless am, for personal amusement over the years I would occasionally joke with my wife and close friends that IF I had ever written a memoir, I fancied entitling it, “My Life” along with a never ending list of running gag subtitles, including one of my following Top 3 picks: “User Error”—or—“Unclear on the Concept”—or possibly my personal favorite, and definitely most apropos caption to this present literary undertaking“It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.

Case in point: The writing and publication of this unintentionally transparent, much more intimate than I had intended mini-autobiographical article. Whatever was I thinking?

Going forward into this present pandemic, I remain committed and inspired as ever to be in service to all by empowering my fellow brothers and sisters across the globe in whatever capacity I am able. Joining forces with countless other dedicated professionals and unsung heroes in all the helping professions, it is my firm intention to continue helping to bring about a better, brighter, more beautiful future for humankind by making a positive difference in the world through the virtuous circle of service to others. In my particular case, by professionally providing accurate, informed and sex positive sexual health education, nonjudgmental counseling, and unconditional positive regard—which by any other name, is simply known as love.

Nevertheless, just so we're clear—as all of Dr. Michael's counseling clients quickly come to learn—we're a team, and while I'm here to do all I can to help straighten anyone's crooked thinking, when it comes to improving your own personal situation in this life it’s still YOU who has to do the heavy lifting! As you have learned by now, I'm not one to candy-coat things. What else would you realistically expect coming from a long time student and practitioner of the popular 1960's and 70's era, point blank yet genuinely compassionate “tough love” philosophy—especially when delivered by a former Marine/turned no-nonsense counselor?

Speaking of no-nonsense—

I now present my entirely non-sensical so-called preferred pronouns: 

 “Mister Know It All” / Your Highness”

 

In other words, are you freaking kidding me!?

If you ask me, to actually expect people to remember yours (and everyone else’s) so-called personal pronouns—let alone demand that that they always use them—is the height of arrogance and entitlement. It frankly strikes me as nothing more than a heaping shovelful of narcissism. 'Nuf said—don't even get me started about this annoyingly self-indulgent and vainglorious fake “gender pronouns” gibberish—now everybody snap out of it!

And while I can assure you that my intention here is absolutely not to personally insult or otherwise in any way be disrespectful of anyone, I nevertheless urge those to whom this delusional charade applies to do everyone—including you—a big favor and get over yourself already.

Likewise, I suppose now is as good a time as any to ask that you kindly allow this professionally educated and trained, over three decades practicing Clinical Counseling Sexologist and Professor of Human Sexuality & Psychology to make the following scientific fact perfectly clear to everyone, since the matter has become utterly muddled in recent years almost beyond all repair.

All fanciful thinking aside—read that as thinking not based on fact—there are three and ONLY three human genders:  male and female, representing over 99.9 % of all births and—exceedingly rare at less than .1% of all births—intersex. And that’s it.

Gender refers to a person’s natural God-given biological and genetic make-up. Despite what you are being intentionally mis-lead to believe by cultural and family destroying agenda-driven psychopathic evil tricksters and their clueless army of non-critically thinking “useful idiot” minions and zealots—regrettably including many overly trusting, well-meaning with good intention yet misinformed people—gender is unequivocally not a matter of choice nor a “preference” nor otherwise in any way mutable.

On the contrary—gender is a fixed and not subject to change immutable matter of destiny by birth—DNA solely determines one’s sex. And no amount of hormones or surgery or cross-dressing can override it. No matter how insistently or loudly anyone brays, gender is not a social construct. Nor is it a matter for debate—the data is incontrovertible—any and all claims otherwise are just patently untrue.

To settle this matter once and for all, I now present you with the following example of sound logic, as succinctly deduced well over 150 years ago by none other than the deeply esteemed and ever sound logician, Mr. Abraham Lincoln: “How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.”

A person can “identify” as whatever they like till blue in the face but in the end “identify” is nothing more than code for “I’m pretending to be.” Likewise, for the sake of argument regarding gender so-called “fluidity,” I would add that no matter how you slice and dice it—or whatever other kind of convoluted, distorted and plain flat-out wrong magical thinking is employed to have you believe otherwise—it simply ain’t so! People trying to be something other than what they are by Nature is terribly misguided and tragic.

Precisely as intended by the amoral “puppet masters” pulling the strings behind the curtain who are purveying this abomination to sow seeds of confusion and chaos disrupting familial and social conventions towards furthering their overall evil-minded agenda. These are peculiar psychopathic personalities who flourish on and delight in man's misery and confusion. I will say more on this shortly, but for now what you must understand is that one of the major malevolent end goals of these sociopathic puppeteers and their demonically complicit minions is to destabilize and destroy marriage and the nuclear family.

By degrading and destroying the stable institution of the nurturing traditional family—the building block of human society and the basic unit of social stability—the wicked controller’s intention is to abolish traditional morality and its corresponding healthy heritage, and to replace it with their own immoral beliefs and corrupt heritage. And in the process, dragging human behavior to previously unimaginable lows while dividing and destroying American society. In plain English, our American way of life is presently under attack like never before in the entire history of our country!

For now, to everyone who has been mistakenly taken in by all the ongoing delusional gender hocus-pocus mumbo-jumbo—currently being widely disseminated as factual and yet nonetheless all outright lies and propaganda—through both legacy media and online social media platforms, and also within many of our so-called educational institutions, more accurately indoctrination zones, from grade school to graduate school in this ongoing war upon truth and common sense—for goodness' sake, it's time to face reality! It deeply pains me to report that you have been treacherously tricked and are living in an evilly twisted and fractured fairy tale dream that is absolutely not going to end well for you.

For in reality—actual reality and not false reality—life is too damn short to live in namby-pamby land. And for anyone so mentally and emotionally compromised as to presently find themselves being “triggered” by my above shout out to this inane brainsickness, for that is what it is, you need to thump yourself alongside the back of your head as many times as necessary until you get over it. For real.

In short, you have been mind-control psychologically conditioned to react with self-righteous indignation and outrage to anyone that contradicts this insidiously deceitful, meticulously calculated, misdirecting “thought malware” programming. These delusions, once carefully implanted, are difficult to correct. The end goal of this mass delusion mind-control is to induce you to act as a delusional—read that as un-adapted to reality—obedient machine.

As keenly perceived by the eminent thought control and brainwashing WWII-era research scientist Dr. A.M. Meerloo in his seminal 1956 publication, The Rape of the Mind: “Any influence which tends to rob a person of their free mind can reduce them to robotism. Any influence which destroys the individual can destroy the whole society.” He further warns, “Humankind’s innate laziness and resistance to the hard labor of thinking makes it relatively easy to manipulate us with words.”

To the ruling elite puppeteers operating in the shadows, words are “conditioners” and “emotional triggers” serving to imprint their desired reaction pattern upon those hearing them. Simply put, the use of so-called “trigger words” are designed to bring up a reservoir of dark feelings, that in turn leads to a negative reaction on behalf of the hearer.

This includes thought malware trigger programming that conditions people to reflexively deploy the menticidal—read that as brainwashed—nuclear option of so-called “cancel culture” through shaming, shunning, penalization, and censorship against anyone with differing views than their own. How lame is that?

So much for the inclusively accepting philosophies of “to each their own” and “different strokes for different folks,” both of which reigned socially supreme when I grew up in the latter half of the much more tolerant of differences previous century. And I ain't exactly ancient—not quite yet, anyhow!

Besides, as if we absurdly ever could—let alone deludedly ever conclude we have the right—to act out in a manner that attempts to “cancel” another person's humanity or otherwise curtail their freedom of expression simply because we don’t agree with it. News flash: It’s called freedom of speech! Free speech and the free exchange of ideas and opinions requires everyone to engage with ideas which we may not like, while also extending tolerance to words and beliefs we may dislike, or that challenge and or otherwise unsettle us. And in the end, it’s how we build bridges and learn from one another.

By the same token, and completely contrary to current mis-guided so-called “progressive” cultural doctrine, unbridled indulgence in your emotions when you don't get your way is simply juvenile and is definitely not the answer. On the contrary, rather than immaturely shrieking, pitching a fit and wailing like a baby, you need to get a grip, elevate your gaze, and raise your standards! Fully formedread that as matureadults treat each other with kindness and respect, and certainly not with hostility and disrespect.

Additionally, it has been rightly noted that fully formed adults accept as much responsibility as possible for our individual life, for society, and or the world by telling the truth, and by repairing what is in disrepair or broken down and recreating what is old and outdated. Healthy adults strive to behave virtuously, to develop their power of vision and direction, and to expand their capacity for full reciprocity. Indeed, it is by determining how to act towards our self and towards others that we most likely become and stay a good person and, in our own small yet vital way, bring the Divine Forces of Hope and Benevolence to bear upon the world.

For in one way or another, what the world needs more now than ever is for each of us to transform and redefine our personality so as to personify kindness, starting by extending genuine tolerance to others with different philosophies than our own, as in “live and let live.” Granted, it is asking a lot, and yet, how can we ask any less of ourselves? Especially when the result of each of us living properly is that we all collectively flourish.

In the process, we discover how painless it is to ourselves and respectful it is of others, plus how liberating it feels once we free ourselves from any and all the misguided bigotry we've somehow acquired. And for any relentless hardheads out there still insisting on canceling” something, I urge you to “Cancel cancel culture!”—by replacing harshness with a gentler better angels of our nature much more humane “kindness culture.” In other words—everybody relax!—and while you're at it, for goodness’ sake, show everyone respect and be kind.

For anyone who may have forgotten—or regrettably never learned—it’s called civility. As all of us can haplessly attest today, countless examples of in-civility abound in our presently devolving culture—ranging from the ubiquitous dropping of vulgar “F-bombs” to careless and ungracious “anything goes” profanities and other crudities of speech and behavior that resultantly slime both speaker and listener alike. The words we use influence our behavior in daily life, and additionally determine the thoughts we have. Hence, a good place to start practicing civility is by carefully minding your mouth and your manners. Character is formed by our daily decisions, both small and large, which in turn subsequently shape the person we become. Ultimately, it remains for us to choose civility over incivility.

Civility is the courteous acknowledgement that the thoughts and feelings of other people also matter. It is the expression through the vital elements of our behavior and speech which form the foundation of civility—and personal dignity. Civility reminds us that we should not just say or do whatever we like or the first thing that comes into our head, but rather as a matter of self- and other-respect, that we should endeavor always to be mindful—read that as respectful—of other people’s feelings and sensibilities.

It isn’t hard to do. On the contrary, it simply requires that we practice the fundamentals of civility—respect, mutuality and trust—and effort to bring out the authentic best in ourselves by curbing our narcissistic self-centeredness and paying greater attention to others. Especially in our conduct towards those with whom we may disagree vigorously or otherwise possess very different philosophies than our own.

Object lesson:  Taking offense is a choice. In my counseling practice I gently yet firmly encourage those with the hair-trigger habit of being easily offended to straighten out their reactive “crooked thinking” and thereby stop upsetting themselves to everybody’s betterment. Stubbornly refusing to be reactive requires those taking offense to work on increasing their emotional intelligence by actively practicing tolerance of others. It further requires learning to live and let live with dignity and respect, as has been practiced by every generation of Americans going all the way back to our country’s founding. Let us effort to be more understanding and less judgmental of one another.

Once again, it isn’t hard to do—for at the end of the day, goodness begets goodness. Simply effort consistently to personify tolerance, acceptance, nonjudgmentalness, and respect. While you are at it, strive to connect in peace and sow the seeds of love, unity and compassion with everyone you meet. With a little practice, before you know it you'll be doing it on your head! When it comes to fostering mutual respect and kind regard, nothing beats the Golden Rule of giving what you want to get: Treat people the way YOU want to be treated. A good place to start is by ceasing to bash others who think, look, or act differently than you.

For instance: Should any readers be presently fuming with your undies in a knot or otherwise “taking offenseover anything I've stated thus far—seriously?!—perhaps even compelling you to mutter a few choice words about how the good doctor must be a xenophobic, homophobic, sexist, bigot, redneck or whatever other kind of misinformed know-nothing in-tolerant epithet you believe fully justified to hurl upon me, for goodness' sake slow down and take a deep breath. Before reactively letting loose, I suggest you stop, take a step back, and think about it first to rightfully reconsider.

As a young straight man in my 20's I took on a multi-decade activist role in the lengthy struggle for gay rights. Yet now today as a 65-year-old senior citizen, I watch horror-stricken as the radical ideology now dominating the so-called “trans movement” stridently insists that gender itself be “erased”—a demand striking most Americans as “nutty, unfair and dangerous”—which in turn is causing a backlash against hard-won LGBT rights.

I encourage anyone doubtful of my lifetime commitment to sexual equality for all to review my many essays on the subject via the below link to “Sexual Rights are Human Rights” located on my counseling website within Dr. M’s Free Archive page: http://lovekindly.com/archive.html

Not to mention I have accrued over 75,000 hours of practice, study and research in the subjects of normal and abnormal human psychology and human sexuality over the last 40 years—with all due respect, what about you—can you say the same?

How anyone carefully reading this human-interest account of my personal and professional character development over the years could possibly be more wrongheaded about my sincere motivations—suffice it to say—you don't know me at all. But suit yourself.

Nonetheless, be assured no affront whatsoever is taken by me. I'm telling you now—with a wide smile stretching across my face—that you would need at least a .50 caliber depleted uranium projectile to possibly pierce this former Marine/no-nonsense counselor's psychological armor! But hey, that's just who I am and how I roll. So again I ask—but what about you?

For you see, unlike many full grown adults in western society today who have, in my “calls ‘em as I sees ‘em” unmitigated assessment, pathetically abandoned any and all self-respect—thereby allowing themselves to emotionally devolve to the default level of a lackadaisical loser—my personal feelings sure as heck aren’t fashioned of delicate hand-stitched gossamer, but rather, are constructed of blast furnace-forged high tungsten steel. Without mincing my words—for anyone to whom this character fault applies—it's time to buck the hell up, buttercups!

While this take no prisoners assessment of mine may at first blush seem unreasonably harsh—tissue?—I nonetheless make it my habit to double down on my efforts whenever encountering those devoid of all self-respect by demonstrating more than enough respect for both of us in the hope of personifying a worthy of imitation “monkey see, monkey do” role model.

Moreover, rest assured that whatever putdown label or colorful expletive anyone might possibly sling my way in describing me, I have been called far, far worse by far, far better. As only those proud few who have had the masochistic privilege of being a Marine recruit can fully appreciate when inimitably delivered way up close and personal—nose to nose, hat brim to hat brim—by a maniacal, wild-eyed, verbally colorful savage savant United States Marine Corps Drill Instructor.

By the same token, should anyone reading these words presently find themselves concurrently pitching a mental shit-fit regarding my unapologetically strident viewpoint lamenting the highly organized campaign of misinformation/disinformation regarding biological gender and natural human sexuality—and specifically my appalled astonishment over how “factual science” has been nefariously hijacked, perversely twisted and unrecognizably distorted in modern day society by these same malevolent forces—for heaven's sake, do everyone a huge favor and stop being so reactive!

The thing is, your reaction actually says and additionally reveals much more about you and your thinkingand the effectiveness of your lifetime of brainwashing and programming—than it does anything about me and mine. Yet even so, surely we can agree to disagree without being disagreeable.

I, for one, would certainly welcome that development with open arms. Consequently, it now bears repeating: If what you are presently reading in this article is “triggering” indignant upset or rage or otherwise unleashing whatever self-righteous cerebral clown show now being wheeled out from between your ears—how dare I!—take that as your cue to learn more about this matter by questioning and researching it on your own to prove me wrong—or mind you just perhaps possibly right.

Either way, here I stand and can do no other. For you see—

 

 I worry not who will be offended if I speak the Truth;

 I worry who will be mislead, deceived and destroyed if I don’t.

 

A good therapist will tell you the truth about what they think. With all due respect, for anyone beginning to suspect or recognize that you have unknowingly allowed yourself to be culturally and socially brainwashed to buy into this load of gender bunk and tomfoolery—hook, line and sinker—I urge you to seek out an online support group of like-minded individuals. One composed of good people like you whom were also taken in by the constant propaganda, suggestion and insistence conditioning covertly driving this deceitful and false-hearted gender confusing agenda.

Without sugarcoating it: 
 

Any gender ideology stating gender can be changed is a lie.

It is biologically impossible to change gender.

Period.

 

The Gender Industrial Complex is one of the most evil entities on the planet! Once you recognize this bogus gender ideology for what it is—mental and emotional coercion—and realize your mind has long been falsely imprisoned, your formidable task becomes to throw off the shackles of this deceitful system. Begin with a mental “mass coronal ejection” of all rigid “woke” ideological rules, false observations and phony convictions. Next, effort to de-condition yourself from the old disempowering unwholesome programs you've naively bought into, and replace them with new empowering wholesome ones. All of which will bring about more of what you want and less of what you don't in your life, sexually and across-the-board.

Specifically, I suggest you look for and carefully select a mental health moral support group for like-minded kindred spirits with common experiences and concerns just like yours similarly seeking assistance in their recovery from patently false and psychologically damaging fanatical psycho-sexual indoctrination. For regrettably, without mincing words, that is exactly what it is. Unlearning all the false indoctrination you've been programmed with will take time, patience, and perseverance.

Nobody is saying it will be easy—especially with the inevitable peer pressure “mental blackmail” that follows commanding you to be politically correct, conform, stop making waves and follow the party line or find yourself canceled for “wrong-think!” Shrug off this bullying; to thine own genuinely authentic self stay true. And remember—

 

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened.
But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”

                                  Rudyard Kipling

 

In the final analysis, it is no simple task to deprogram your propagandized mass delusion in order to consequently rewire and regain your self-control and break free from this evil, “mental contagion” programming/authoritarian belief system which you have been pulled into. The difficulty of this task is compounded by the fact that not only do bad-ideas as such kill common sense, they result in feelings of belonging and community for everyone succumbing to these wicked “social viruses” via their willingness to follow the herd.

As Master Yoda instructed, You must unlearn what you have learned.Your mental and emotional wellbeing are worth the effort you muster to recover and protect them. Search online and on YouTube for self-empowering “woke and gender ideology deprogramming support” resources where you can both learn from and teach others rather than struggling on your own the hard way. I wish you strength and courage.

Yet be forewarned: Deprogramming yourself from infectious and cunningly deceptive “idea pathogens” takes time and effort; getting out of a cult is often as slow and gradual a process as getting into a cult.

Be that as it may—you've got this! By the same token, to anyone whom this insidious mind control indoctrination applies, a good place to start is by dumping everything so-called “woke” and jettisoning all of the unfounded gender garbage from the cubby of your cranium. Along with everything else fraudulent and counterfeit that you have been deceptively sold and naively bought into from gender-identity radicals with their poisonous doctrines of dangerous nonsense. In this worrisome age of artificial intelligence they are creating even more worrisome artificial stupidity.

All of which they zealously promote and self-righteously teach to underhandedly shackle, radicalize and mentally molest the innocent and highly impressionable minds of our children and young adults. Outrageously, this includes audacious attempts to subvert parental control by sponsoring secret after-school “Satan Clubs” and secret “Gender Transition Closets” behind the backs of parents.

Schools are deliberately using deceit to promote Luciferian and transgender ideologies, Marxist ideas, and “social justice activism” that are teaching children it is acceptable to defy their parents. As stated by one radicalized transgender teacher, “The goal of the ‘trans closet’ is for our students to leave home wearing the clothes that their parents approve of, come to school, and then swap out into opposite gender clothing that fits who they truly are so they can ‘trans’ at school.” And intentionally, all done without their parents knowledge.

So everyone is clear

 

This is a spiritual war on children against God!

 

Lies and deception are the root of the dark forces’ evil. These extremists are brainwashing, grooming and laying a Black Magic “mental spell” upon our children at school through mass suggestion and mass hypnosis. This profoundly inappropriate sexualizing of our youth can adversely impact their emotional wellbeing and psychological mental health. Regrettably, many continue to be caught up unawares in this deceptive web. Once a person takes leave from the reality-based community anything becomes possible—including the highly improbable and flat-out impossible—including what is presently passing as pseudo-science (read that as garbage) “woke gender ideology.”

To anyone whom this wicked trickery applies, I implore you to effort with all your might to break free from it. To unshackle and reset your mind, you must first recognize this demented dogma for what it is—nothing but a steaming load of “virtue signaling” crap. Much of which has been proselytized under the cockeyed guise of hyper-inflated “self-entitlement.” I’m sorry to say, but for anyone who’s bought into this mass delusion, you’ve been totally duped!

The pervasive spread of “woke movement” propaganda into every segment of American society in recent years covertly seeks to undermine, overturn and destroy civility and traditions that have long assisted humankind in governing itself and getting along. All in the name of “progress” through insidiously idealistic brainwashing curriculum and propaganda that promotes class, racial, and gender differences which its proponents wrongly yet vehemently insist have resulted in present day “social inequalities.”

Worse yet, this misguided and dangerous “cult of wokism” dogma preposterously proposes to fix and replace these exaggerated/made-up problems with completely unrealistic and counterfeit—as well as hateful and destructive—“woke goals and expectations.”

When in actuality, so-called “wokeness” is a categorically uncivil, harmful false virtue masquerading as beneficial while promoting meanness, intolerance, hatred and cruelty towards those who think, look, or act differently. What's up with that, right? If you ask me—woke is wack!

Once you understand that Satanism is all about “inverting reality” and portraying evil as a virtue everything this Satanic Order does will start to make sense.

Likewise, the promulgation of weaponized sexual misinformation/disinformation that has been disseminated over the past several decades—typically having no basis in scientific fact—continues to be taught openly and secretly by so-called “progressive” or “woke culture” or “politically correct” fanatics through profoundly inappropriate and highly sexualized education curricular.

These unfactual indoctrinating doctrines are overwhelmingly based on deviant, degenerate and destructive new dogmas and distorted fantasy ideologies. All of which are recklessly being promoted by dark elements within our society, governmental and educational systems in a manner that is neither age nor developmentally appropriate.

Case in point: Parents are complaining that their children are being hypersexualized and exposed to deviant sexual concepts and pornography at tender ages in school. Including teachers giving 4-year old junior kindergarteners “masturbation homework” assignments instructing them to identify places in their homes where they can “privately touch your penis or vulva if you want to.” This is child abuse. So everyone is clear: School sanctioned age and developmentally inappropriate sexual curricular—and the pathological psycho-sexual indoctrination of our children—are categorically vile acts.

Equally contemptible, emboldened activists and proponents of these detestable ideologies have shamefully crossed the line with their never-ending proselytizing of gender dysmorphia indoctrination and systematized pushing of age-inappropriate and scientifically preposterous “transgender transitioning/gender switching” propaganda nonsense upon our innocent young children. Be not deceived: Encouraging kids to “change” their gender is a crime against humanity!

This bankrupt and morally outrageous mentality now permeates throughout practically every strata of our society via schools, social media, sports, entertainment and culture, making it virtually impossible for anyone to escape unscathed from this mental disorder. For anybody not utterly thunderstruck by all of this, allow me to spell it out for you: This sickening and perverse indoctrinating doctrine is just flat-out wrong, morally depraved, and nothing short of CRIMINAL.

And thoroughly EVIL. Join me now in taking a principled stand to protect our children and defend our rights as parents. This old-time sexologist refuses to stay silent while pro-pedophile and other radical, sexually aberrant self-interests groups brazenly in our face attempt to normalize grooming, pedophilia and other psychological pathological disorders and criminal activist ideologies coming straight from the pit of hell—oh, HELL NO, not on my watch!

 

“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.”

                              Albert Einstein

 

This includes the need for all of us to call out the grotesque and vulgar “Drag Queen Story Hour” events that are “geared for children aged 3 to 11”—say WHAT?! Along with high school teachers dressing in drag as scantily clad queens and dancing on a stage while performing a raunchy show for underage teenage students as part of an after-school “Gay Sexuality Alliance Club”without parental consent. Has our society gone completely unhinged from its collective mindwhat on Earth are people thinking?? In NO freaking multiverse is this disgusting degeneracy and utter depravity normal or healthy. On the contrary, it is child abuse. The whole thing might be laughable were it not so tragic and detrimental in its consequences. And therein lies the rub. And also wherein lies the fix.

Object lesson: People of good conscience must take a stand by speaking out and putting a stop to our children and young adults from being further brainwashed and lead down the road to hell and destruction via this authoritarian and evil belief system.

I exaggerate not one iota when I state we are presently living in a time of highly calculated, multi-decade implemented, malevolently manipulated social engineering and mass psychosis tyranny that is completely disconnected from reality. And all of it originating from amoral, perverted and sociopathic so-called “global power elites” whose ill-disposed design is dedicated to keeping us endlessly distracted—look over here, not over there—confused and misdirected, weakened and divided from one another and ultimately, to separate us from our own self. 

A favorite tactic frequently employed by these fiendish social and cultural manipulatorsstealthily operating around the globe from within the shadows—is to create dissension amongst us, the better for them to keep us distraught and preoccupied while they hide in plain sight in flagrant pursuit of their wicked agendas. Specifically, by playing the victim, race, and gender cards against us—as is plain to anyone with eyes to see and ears to hear as running amok in recent years—through fabricated culture wars” purposefully designed to inflame and leave us divided, polarized, and drifting towards chaos.

Simply stated, under the cover of a linguistic “fog of war,” these hell-bent purveyors of discord adeptly deploy “words propaganda” to separate and demonize segments of society. This is a cult that is very obsessed with languageand collective obedience. To control people you have to control the way they think, and to control the way they think, you have to control their language through “cult words, definitions and ideologies.”

They likewise vigorously promote “bad-mouthing and cancelling” anyone daring to disagree with their views advancing their full-fledged war against traditional values. All in hopes of further rolling out their societally destructive, insidiously insane and never-ending self-serving agenda after agenda after agenda against humanity. Regrettably, it has proven itself a very effective tactic.

So everyone is clear: The purely rotten intention of these sick f*ck malevolent psychopathic puppet masters and their never-ending evil—while an admittedly harsh assessment, trust me, if you knew even half of what I knew about these demonic monsters and their centuries of perpetrating ruthless and abhorrently sickening crimes against humanity, you would call them the same or worse—is to CONTROL THE MASSES. Trust me when I say it is much, much worse than you can possibly imagine.

Primarily, through abusive policies peddled by their backstabbing, bought and paid for corrupt political leaders and seditiously dishonest mass media shills sowing the seeds of division to create a schism between us. Thereby allowing them to add lots of fear in-between, the better to distract, misdirect and control us for their categorically greedy gain and inhumane mass eugenics depopulation agenda. Yes, you read right—depopulation, as in, genocide—they are playing God!

If you doubt me, do an online search for the “Georgia Guidestones” and prepare yourself for a shock. For indeed, as that old psychological chestnut rightly warns, “Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.” Make no mistake: These sick, obsessively hateful Evilists are arrogance incarnate, spiteful, deceitful, cruel, and stand for nothing short of conscious malevolence with the desire for deliberate destruction, thoughtfully and completely. They are dedicated to the propagation of pain and unnecessary suffering of humankind 24/7. Moreover, these “enemy of humanity are the very archetype of Evil, the embodiment of pure hatred of humankind and God”—and they know full well the misery which they gleefully perpetrate and heap upon us.

As has been rightly deduced by distinguished Canadian psychologist Dr. Jordan B. Peterson:
 

“There are some actions that are so intrinsically terrible that they run counter to the proper nature of human Being.
This is true essentially, cross-culturally – across time and place.
These are evil actions. No excuses are available for engaging in them.”

 

Likewise, towards furthering their corrupt self-serving agendas, these sociopathic wolves in sheep's clothing relentlessly instruct us to “follow the science”—which in reality is a religious cult of self-indulgent pseudo-science dogma—even as they shamelessly self-anoint and self-appoint themselves as “High Priests” of this brave new world religion of Bogus Science. Let me be perfectly clear: It is not that they want us to follow the “science;” rather, it is that they want us to follow their opinions and dictates—and do it all without question! I exaggerate not.

To these criminally insane “power trippers” science is simply another game for power and control. In the enemy's playbook, there are no facts; all definitions are merely made up by they who gain from them, excluding others and everything that does not directly or indirectly benefit them personally and selfishly. We must therefore beware of all those purveying them—for these people are morally, ideologically, and spiritually bankrupt.

Think about it. I suggest you stop now for a few moments to absorb all of what I just said. Better still, I urge you to re-read the four preceding short paragraphs as many times as it takes until it really sinks in. And do your research. For plainly put, once you put on your critical thinking cap, it doesn't take a “conspiracy theorist” to connect the dots!

While I'm well aware that this warning may come across as rather alarmist at very best—and as a completely over the top bonkers rant of a madman at very worst—I assure you that I have most definitely not overstated the case. Suffice it for me to now say, their plans really are much more monstrous than I am now prepared to describe in this article. For now, just know that their agenda is nothing short of anti-human, and no one on the side of humanity would ever consider aligning themselves with these malevolent beings or their audacious genocidal agenda.

And even while diabolically brilliant, this agenda is absolutely demonic, and for that reason alone I am comforted and deeply heartened that in God's perfect time, their evil-minded scheme is doomed to fail, and fail it shall miserably. And not to get all “holy roller” on you, nevertheless, I personally believe that this is a spiritual battle between good and evil—and while the devil and demons are real, so are angels and God—and in the end, Creator wins.

No doubt that last comment will push a few buttons and leave some readers unconvinced: Reallythe devil?? Fair enough, and yes, really—the devil. I can almost see the eye rolls and hear the groans, but bear with me. As I have just said, I’m no holy roller.

Yet once you understand that their demonic “god” is transgender, you start to understand what this current “transgender push agenda” is actually all about.

In the truest sense of the word these sociopaths literally worship the devil. Allow me to elucidate—

For starters, transgenderism is nothing new, but is in fact, quite ancient. It is actually a religious practice going all the way back to the old pagan mystery religions. Lucifer himself is often portrayed by occultists as an androgynous being, and in occult literature is often referred to as the “divine androgyne,” or in other words, “he-she.” Essentially, the androgyne of ancient times is now being resurrected under the banner of “transgenderism.”

Want a shock? Today's culture is riddled with transgenderism, yet not how you probably think. I know this will sound ludicrous, but a staggering number of our well-known pop culture heroes, idols, celebs, prominent politicians, historical figures, etc.—present and past—are covertly gender inverted and in a transgender-Luciferian cult. But that's a whole 'nother mind-bending story for a different time.

Crazy? Maybe—but then again, “crazy” is often somebody who figures out the truth before most people. For now, just know this is what's going on and make of it what you will. Better yet, start your own investigation by searching “celeb transvestigation elite gender inversion.” You just might want to brace yourself for what you discover!

The wicked intention of this ancient celebration of androgyny was and still is to blur and eventually obliterate the clear distinctions between male and female genders and characteristics, so everyone can became “one” with each other through what amounts to “psycho-sexual confusion.”

The real purpose of the hidden behind the scenes Evilist masterminds is not to improve the wellbeing of those rare few amongst us whom indeed have genuine gender dysphoria. In actuality, these sociopaths view gay and transgender people as nothing more than props to create psycho-sexual confusion that ushers in their radical self-serving ideology. Plainly put: They have hijacked the gay and transgender community and couldn’t care less about them!

Their evil end game is to destroy the present American Judeo-Christian culture our country was founded and built upon, and replace it with their demonic Luciferian culture—and so everyone is clear—I’m 100% dead serious. Their purely ungodly intention is to end freedom and democracy and establish a worldwide Marxist communist new world order that openly worships Satan.

You just can’t make this stuff up. As the old saying goes, “When truth is blurred by lies and misinformation, perception becomes reality and all is lost.” Alas today, perception is quickly becoming “reality” for many. A false reality, which nonetheless unfortunately many good and confused people have bought into lock, stock and barrel. For those of us who have not bought into this twisted and nefarious agenda, it is our duty—to our children, young adults and country—to call it out loudly and vigorously wherever it raises its demonic head.

In summary, the entire goal of this androgyny—now called transgenderism—agenda is the transformation of society through the removal of boundaries by blending opposites (male/female) into “one.” And while begrudgingly they have until recently been doing a damn good job of it, I have no doubt whatsoever that ultimately they shall not prevail. For each day, ever more morally upright Americans and righteous people the world over are catching on to this sinister brainwashing scheme, and in one unified voice bellowing “Enough is enough!” while taking action to crush and stop this evil agenda once and for all.

Turning now to the current matter of gender/transgender exploitation, while I take no pleasure in bursting anyone's bubble to whom this vile sexual and gender mis-information/dis-information/confusion/dysphoria propaganda campaign of damn lies and downright deceptions applies and continues to cause grave harm, burst it to smithereens I must!

I am particularly alarmed over today's blatant attempts at normalization of cavalier usage of dangerous cross-sex hormone inhibiting/puberty blocking medications and other so-called “gender affirming” medications that can cause permanent damage. Including websites geared towards teens as young as 13 on how to get cross-sex hormones without parental consent. I am likewise aghast and outraged with the altogether indefensible promotion of irreversible so-called “sex change” transgender mutilation surgeries for anyone under the age of 25—which is when the human brain completes its full development.

I believe these actions to be completely misguided and criminal. They must be banned and outlawed to protect those too young and unable to fully comprehend the drastic repercussions which may follow from making such a huge life-altering decision at such a vulnerable age and stage in their development. A major life decision made as a minor or young adult that they might later come to regret deeply for the rest of their lives.

In the name of Almighty God—

 

Leave the children alone!

 

Hospitals worldwide must immediately stop providing abusive experimental transgender procedures on minors as it is flat-out child abuse! In my strongest professional opinion, these radical medical interventions are a travesty of medicine that disregard many other factors that could be contributing to a person’s possibly transient gender dysphoria, and as such, I remain adamant they should be legally prohibited for anyone under the age of 25 to undergo.

And even then, only after the individual undergoes at least one year of intensive sexual therapy—provided by a professionally educated sex therapist possessing an advanced counseling psychology degree—to ensure they are indeed a mentally/emotionally appropriate candidate before undertaking such profound and irreversible medical procedures.

As a long time practicing sexual scientist and counseling clinician motivated by the desire to help others—whose work addresses all matters pertaining to human sexuality both healthy and unhealthy, normal and abnormal—I am in a unique position to assess and comment upon alarming current events impacting sexual health, psychological wellness and overall wellbeing. And that is exactly what I am efforting to do within this article, for in my studied assessment, we are now living in a world which has alarmingly—by careful playbook-plotted design—not only gone stark raving mad but also lost its moral compass.

We have a serious mental health crisis in this country and it needs to be addressed. I am well aware that my point of view challenges the prevailing party line amongst a great many of my well-meaning though nonetheless disinformed and naively hoodwinked fellow professional sexologist colleagues. Lucky for me I am not looking to win any popularity contests. To any longtime friends and peers disagreeing vigorously with my position, bless your hearts—prove me wrong.

For yet once more, here I stand and can do no other—silence is complicity.

 

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

                                                     Edmund Burke

 

Now is the time for all believing in righteousness to unite against these evil forces and—fortified by the courage and convictions of our morality—smite this incredibly dark foulness.

 

Big shout-out to "G A Y S AGAINST G R O O M E R S" on Twittermore power to you!

 

Reassuringly, I am far from alone in this recognition and in taking a strident position of righteous resistance on behalf of all humanity, young, old and everywhere in between. Those whom have eyes to perceive, ears to discern, and a mind to critically think for themselves grows exponentially in numbers daily. The Truth is now being revealed for everyone to pay attention, observe and call out the lies, despite the dark side's increasingly frantic—though ultimately failing—efforts to suppress it as they always have until recently yet can no longer.

Speaking of frantic last-resort efforts, I suppose now is as good a time as any to drop a particularly relevant and admittedly mind-blowing bombshell: Namely, while it may understandably sound completely outlandish at first, don't be fooled if/when in the not-so-distant future the dark side stages their decades-long planned, simulated yet nonetheless devastatingly violent and destructive “fake alien invasion” catastrophic attack upon major world cities.

We must likewise be prepared for a staged “fake friendly alien rescue”, via huge 3D holographic images of highly venerated religious deities projected high up into the sky above major world cities around the planet, to initiate a so-called “spiritual apocalypse.” Each of these deceptions—a fake alien invasion and fake alien rescue—will utilize the dark side's secret weaponized earth-originating space craft vehicles and/or advanced CGI holographic technologies in a desperate “bogus banner” attempt to stop the continued unraveling of their maniacally evil plans.

Most especially their plans to consolidate and expand their self-serving powers towards initiating a totalitarian “new world order” and despicable depopulation agendaall of which we must stubbornly resist. Once again, you just can't make this stuff up, folks! Do your own online research on “Project B l u e B e a m” and the death bed confessions of WWII-era Nazi Germany pioneer rocket scientist Wernher von Braun—whom postwar thanks to “Project P a p e r c l i p” became NASA’s chief aerospace moon missions engineer—then come to your own conclusions. While admittedly it sounds crazy, what if?

Keep an open mind is all I'm saying. If you wish to learn more, I've written about these potentially mass casualty fake alien invasion and fake alien rescue plans in articles previously posted on LinkedIn and my counseling practice website under Dr. M's Free Archive. For anyone seeking an in-depth introduction to the subject of Earth politics and extraterrestrial life, be sure to visit Dr. Michael Salla's website at www.exopolitics.org. Dr. Salla is a tireless researcher and renowned pioneer in the development of ‘Exopolitics’, the political study of the key actors, institutions and processes associated with extraterrestrial life. What Dr. Salla has to say is guaranteed to blow your mind—the Truth has a tendency of doing that—which is, of course, usually a good thing.

The more factual knowledge and understanding you gain regarding how dark elements of our society, government and educational systems have long and methodically hijacked the Truth about reality in general—and particularly in matters of healthy and happy sexuality regardless of your gender or orientation—the more it will serve to liberate rather than enslave you. As is in fact now the case, although you may not as yet have come to realize it. All the more reason I humbly implore you to take me at my word that you are being played by the completely wicked power elite predator class” players hiding in the shadows who most assuredly do not have your best interests in mind!

The good news is that each and every day that passes more and more of the Truth is being revealed to the world as awareness grows about the concealed truths and massive blockade of lies being told to humanity by those comprising this rabidly inhumane power elite faithfully executing the immoral bidding of their “hidden Master in the Stars,” Lucifer. And I'm dead serious—not for nothing is it said that the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.

Not only does the devil actually exist, “the father of lies”—primarily through his fawning vermin army of debased Earthly minions—has never been busier in a desperate and yet what will ultimately prove to be a futile last-ditch attempt to hide their mare's-nest of megalomaniacal lies and secrets. Lies and secrets that have been carefully built and guarded over the centuries in order to keep people everywhere—other than of course those within this ruling global power elite “big big club” that you ain't in—from knowing essential information that all humankind the world over should rightly possess, and denying us access to scientific advances and breakthrough technologies benefiting all mankind.

And for anyone so inclined—read that successfully mind-control programmed—it's useless to call it a so-called “conspiracy.” The tyranny of the “Deep State” Satanic global controller power network is now on full display for everyone to behold in awe their “beautiful flare of ruin” as these criminal creatures very publicly self-immolate! Thankfully now before our very observant eyes, an almost unimaginably gigantic dam of utterly damning lies is beginning to fail and collapse.

Exposing and outing for all to see the age-old evil perpetrated by the Deep State's Luciferian worshipping so-called world leaders and prominent public figures present, past, and long past—going back millennia, yes, millennia. All of whom shamelessly lied and betrayed their entrusted positions by selling-out their fellow Brothers and Sisters in Eternity for egomaniacal power and personal gain. Actions do indeed have consequences; suffice it to say, I wouldn't want to be them.

The rot is deep! These vile traitors and governments against the people are not only dedicated to working against the best interests of the United States and of their own countries—through never-ending subterfuge, deceit, and treacheries—but also against the best interests of humanity the entire world over. The rot must first be revealed before it can be replaced by something better. Thankfully, now is indeed the time of the Great Revealing—humanity is presently being liberated and a new age dawns—and absolutely nothing whatsoever can stop it!

Note: For anyone wanting to learn more about this presently unprecedented and ongoing attack upon our very humanity, personal freedoms, and free will sovereignty, I suggest reading my in-depth 2020 article overview detailing the mind-boggling back-story behind current events, entitled, “Red Pill” Critical Thinking Tips for Staying Grounded in a Crazy Inside-Out, Upside-Down, All Mixed Up World. You can find that 60-minute long-read essay located on my counseling website within Dr. M’s Free Archive page: http://lovekindly.com/red.pill.critical.thinking.html

To snap ourselves out of our trance, we must dig deep to reestablish a firm foothold in reality from which to live our lives in free will sovereignty—and thus break free once and for all from the intentionally harmful, socially controlling, trance inducing, false reality brainwashing/programming constantly bombarding us from all angles today. And indeed, more so now than in any other time in humanity's recorded history. For in real world reality, life is lived on a slippery slope, the understanding of which can yield invaluable lessons for anyone paying attention. If we’re lucky, the angle of that slope is one with a high ratio of happiness and joy to a low ratio of sadness and tears.

And while it might be tempting to try were it not impossible to actually succeed, when we avoid exposing ourselves to life’s decidedly sad downside we unintentionally yet none the less resultantly rob ourselves from an equal amount of life’s decidedly happy upside. Likewise, though we may attempt to avoid suffering at all costs, unfailingly it will find us when we least expect it. In the end, happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. As understood by the deeply insightful psychologist Dr. Carl Jung, “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness. The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”

This holds especially true in matters of extending ourselves in love to others. It cannot be denied: While it is indeed a risky thing to lovefor to open our hearts in love is to open and expose our ourselves in vulnerability to the loss of that same loveit is riskier still not to.

 

Consequently, in the end, you must take on board the idea that it is our ability

to cope with and recover well from life’s losses and disappointments

that ultimately determines our happiness and overall wellbeing.

 

We must learn to tolerate discomfort and times when things don’t go our way without going all to pieces. There is simply no way around it—we have to go through it or stay stuck. And while it might not be easy or pleasant, it is profoundly important to our wellbeing, and is indeed part of being human. We must also learn to grieve and mourn our major life losses and disappointments when grieve and mourn we must, the better to help us to remember, more fully appreciate, and indeed celebrate all the good things in our life as well. Rejecting this basic reality only makes life that much more uncomfortable and miserable.

Grieve and mourn we must especially during those times when life seems to have thrown us under the bus; slammed and broken as we may be feeling from the experience. We must stubbornly rally with every fiber of our emotionally battered being to fully “accept what is for what is”—no matter how dearly we may wish it were not so—and as always, the sooner the better to most effectively deal with "what's next" accordingly. Unfailingly, when challenges or suffering arrives, we must effort to greet it and accept it as real, rather than deny or otherwise minimize it as an annoyance to be sloughed off or dealt with in some distant future.

It is for good reason that unresolved conflict is the #1 cause for ending marriages—what we resist, persists. Which reminds me: I suggest you forget all about that tired load of unequivocally sexist “Happy Wife, Happy Life happy horseshit—in this relationship counselor's book, all good marriages (read that as happy and healthy) are a two-way street composed of equals. In short, what's good for the goose is good for the gander—and, of course, vice versa.

As each and every one of Dr. Michael's couples counseling clients quickly comes to learn, there is another, much better way to state it—while best personifying and demonstrating unconditional love and mutual respect for one another within a vibrant and mutually rewarding relationship. For when all is said and done, the best and most fulfilling relationships are fundamentally about two people taking good care of one another.

Namely, for happy couple's who go the distance in fulfilling relationships, read that with the least amounts of frustration and resentment, the more factual bottom line is actually, “Happy Spouse, Happy House!” The happiest couples amongst us actually effort—yes, that's right, effort, for love is a verb—to make one another happy simultaneously. Including taking their mate's legitimate complaints at face value and working together for as long as it takes until they find mutually agreeable resolutions. The old folk wisdom saying a good marriage requires 200% effort, split equally amongst both partners, still applies today.

In the end, what happens in life is not as important as how you react to what happens in life. Towards furthering your resolute acceptance of reality no matter how it shows up in your world, for anyone so inclined, reciting the following wisdom contained within Reinhold Niebuhr’s exquisite “Serenity Prayer”—I suggest doing so three times in a row with sincere earnestness—can provide both refuge and strength, especially during Life's storms. It is a great way to start your day upon waking daily, even before getting out of bed:

 

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.”

 

Focus on the things you can control, not the things you can’t. And remember, identifying the difference is often the biggest part of the battle! Only when we stop denying and/or minimizing our reality, and only then mind you, can we begin competently efforting to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps to appropriately address, eventually heal, and ultimately let go of and move on from our pain. Yet first, we must become aware of that nattering inner voice that “owns” us. 

This we do by carefully listening to and monitoring our thoughts, feelings and actions, and whenever necessary, changing our “inner narrative” of what we’re telling ourselves about the situation, ideally, in ways that uplift rather than depress us. For when all is said and done, no one in your life communicates more frequently with you than you do. All the more reason to vigilantly “mind your mindset!”

Speaking of uplifting, one of the warmest and wisest songs in my opinion ever written —featuring beautiful, soulfully authentic and hauntingly sensitive Rhythm and Soul vocals and piano—is also chock-full of uplifting wisdom and profound humanity:

 

“Sometimes in our lives we all have pain, we all have sorrow.

 But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
 

 Bill Withers Lyrics Lean On Me" (1972)

 

Along with life’s ups and downs—amidst its glorious victories in the best of times and its bitter disappointments in the worst—the infallible approach of unequivocally accepting what is for what is, followed by effectively dealing with it, serves as a major reminder of human development that is emblematic of how we acquire gifts that mature and enrich our lives going forward. And moreover, often while helping to bring about unexpected bounties that inadvertently equip us with new tools for future triumphs and success. Such is the formula we are wise to follow for creating and living a rich, well lived life.

In conclusion, it remains inevitable life will occasionally succeed in landing gut-wrenching sucker-punches that leave us temporarily doubled over and gasping for air. Even so, it’s nonetheless never so much “the what” that has just occurred but always much more “the how” of our thoughtful responses (or lack thereof) which ultimately determines “what’s next” in our life. To put it another way—our personal psychological resilience is largely determined by the recovery we either choose to take or not to take, which in turn, influences how quickly or slowly we bounce back from adversity and sorrow.

In the end we must let it go. Regardless of the particular matter at hand, it is only by accepting what is for what it is that we can ultimately let go of the struggle, thereby putting a stop to our endless grieving and allowing us to finally move forward with our life—for life does indeed go on.

Whether its overcoming a threat or recovering from life’s hardships, the best policy is to face our challenges head on and without delay, eyes wide open and with no fear. Doing so immediately cuts the threat or hardship in half, and best positions ourselves to adapt and overcome as circumstances require until such time that we prevail. All the better to quickly rebound with a wide smile upon our face and songs of joy within our heart as we lean back and strut-strut-strut along the Road to Happiness!

Over the past four decades, I’ve contrived to learn a ton about human sexuality, behavioral change, relationships, people, and myself that would take many volumes to share—and indeed I've written a 3-volume series entitled "A User's Guide to Your Mind" available for purchase online from most major book sellers for anyone wishing to read more.

While you're at it, don't forget to check out my FREE library of classic articles on life, love, relationships, sexuality and much more that I've penned over the decades on my counseling website within Dr. M’s Free Archive page: http://lovekindly.com/archive.html

In closing, when all is said and done, I've managed to distill my personal philosophy for developing, welcoming and sustaining love in our life—with the express goal of helping everyone get along well with others—into the following single sentence:

 

Love is about accepting people as they are without judgment

 or need to change anything about them.

 

Flawed and fallible human being that I am, each day upon waking I reverently call upon God Source to come into and guide me in living an exemplary life as I effort to do my part by aligning myself—my Soul Self—with Truth and Unity Consciousness. At this autumn transitioning into winter juncture of my life and career, my heartfelt intention (if I am fortunate) is to continue conducting my life with impeccable integrity, and to carry on my global-wide practice as a counseling sexologist for many more years—in service to all, in service of the One.

Namely, by offering my counseling, therapy, guidance and education services, along with precious hope, thereby making a positive difference in the world for as long as people seek my services and God sees fit—assuming of course that between now and then I don’t lose too many more marbles along the way! And while the preceding small-scale attempt at levity will likely at best result in an equally small-scale outcome of hilarity, it nonetheless represents yet another of my personal core convictions in life:

 

It is our vital task in life that we learn to laugh at ourselves

and at our situations when necessary;

for when we can’t, we’re much more liable to crack up and crack up bad!

 

It is my hope this essay proves to be useful and empowering while also affirming your sound thinking and revealing your unsound thinking. Be assured I need to remind myself periodically to heed the same counsel that I have offered to you today. Feel free to share and repost this article anywhere you see fit.

I wish for you only the best—more power to you!

 

Yours very sincerely though no longer unduly seriously,
Dr. Michael

 

 

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

 

 

 

 

 

*   March 2020  An Open Letter to All   *

No matter what happens in life,
how it passes is largely determined by the mindset you keep.

 

 

Distance Counseling in the Age of Pandemics:  Just how effective is it?

Tips for Weathering Times of Great Turbulence

While Keeping Itmore or lessTogether

by Michael Ra Bouchard, M.A., Ph.D.

 

March 20, 2020
945 words; 2-3 minute reading time

 

Dear friends and fellow world citizens,

At this difficult time of enormous change and sudden danger in the midst of the ongoing worldwide coronavirus panic, it's perfectly natural to feel occasional waves of emotional trauma wash over you. Have courage.

Now is the time to ramp up your practice of self-care and taking care of others. Be especially gentle with yourself throughout this ordealand while you're at itwith everybody else. Same thing goes for cutting yourself and others extra slack in the coming days seeing as how everyone is on edge. Easy does it—we’re all in the same boat.

During this period of rapid globe rocking upheaval—knocking everyone way out of our comfort zones and leaving us in free fall—we must be willing to change and adapt to “a new normal,” even though people in general are terrified of change and grudgingly resist it.

All the same—even as we remind ourselves that life won't always be as terrifying and erratic as it is presently—the intelligent approach is to settle in for the long haul, “roll with the punches” as best we can, and adjust our minds as necessary while establishing new habits and routines for the duration.

In times rife with uncertainty it helps to look for the silver lining in circumstances, and to readily partake of enjoyment wherever you can find it. It also helps to look for the “upside” of all the recent changes and find ways to make the most of them.

Especially during times of crisis such as now—when we can’t change circumstances far beyond our control—it is vital to remember that we still can change the way we react to them by exercising the freedom inside our head to decide for ourselves what they mean to us.

And so, in the coming weeks as the world of people goes up and down and people reactively go up and down with it, refuse to go up and down with them but rather stay steady and in your center. Your nervous system and everyone around you will thank you for it.

Throughout this unprecedented period of planet-wide quarantine, the emotional importance of staying socially connected with friends and family—safely and conveniently by telephone and internet—cannot be overemphasized. Or go old school and reach out by sending a letter or postcard. Let the people you care about know you’re thinking of them.

Exercising humorespecially finding ways to laugh at yourself and your situationis one of the best coping mechanisms we have for lightening things up when things aren't going as expected. While doing so won't eliminate the negative it will help to balance it. 

Likewise, laughter can make it easier to cope with difficult situations, lessen pain and reduce anxiety, while also helping us to connect with other people and improve our mood. All of which are good for the brain, uplifting our spirit, and brightening our overall outlook on life in general.

For anyone with faith in a higher power, turn to it regularly for strength and succor to help sustain you during this unpredictable time of tribulation.

And above all remember, “This, too, shall pass.”

In the meanwhile, don’t underestimate the power of “accepting what is for what is” in furthering calmness and overall peace of mind. And no matter what happens, keep in mind that how it passes will be largely determined by the mindset you keep, for when you control your mind you control everything—change your thinking, change your world! 

Along this same line, American radio and television personality Art Linkletter perceptively advised, "Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out." To that end, when life suddenly sweeps you up in a huge wave and you’ve got no other choice, the best thing to do is ride it out with everything you’ve got while taking as much pleasure as possible along the way.

Consequently, strive to stubbornly hold positive expectations and keep as many pleasant thoughts as possible in the upcoming days and weeks, even as you make every effort to stay centered and adjust and adapt accordingly in these unsteadying times.

Also allow yourself to grieve whenever needed, as freely and fully grieving our losses—including our recent collective loss of the world as we knew it—helps us to adjust and better move on from them. Likewise, don’t hesitate to seek out counseling locally or online if you're feeling anxious or depressed and can't seem to shake it.

In this present “time-out interval” of people sheltering at home to stay well—and for the foreseeable future—distance counseling might be the only way we can take measures to protect our emotional health while also protecting our physical health.

The good news in this scary brave new world of practicing social distancing to keep everyone healthy is that numerous research studies have long confirmed telephone distance therapy can be every bit as effective as face-to-face therapy.

And while it is certainly different working with a therapist by telephone, it's neither better nor worse than doing in-person therapy, especially when the clinician is well-trained and specializes in the art of distance counseling.

It takes strength and courage to ask for help. And yet as many who once despaired can now bear witness today—with help comes hope.

For the time being and until this worldwide pandemic runs its course, have trust in yourself and your fellow human beings around the planet to rise in global solidarity to meet the challenges as circumstances require. And if you’re so inclined, pray for us all.

Most importantly, keep the faith while continuing to squeeze hope tightly in a big bear-hug for better days soon to come—no matter how dire or dark things may at times seem in the interim—for without hope for a better future we won’t make it very far.

Keep well,
Dr. Michael

 

~ Call Dr. Michael Today for a Free Telephone Consultation ~

 

Dr. Michael is a long-time pioneer of distance counseling.
He is a professionally trained telephone counselor with over 35 years of telephone counseling experience.

Dr. Michael is a well-seasoned distance counselor. He was an early adaptor of telehealth distance consulting via telephone counseling beginning in 1981, and online guidance beginning in 1995. Most important of allunlike the vast majority of utterly untrained and woefully unprepared self-described "distance counselors" sprouting-up overnight like mushrooms recently, with overconfident proposals of providing "Telephone Counseling" or other virtual services

In reality, Dr. Michael is a highly trained, talented, and eminently qualified distance counseling specialist.

Beginning his counseling career in 1981 as a young newly-minted clinician, the future Dr. Michael—over the course of the next five years—chose to specialize in the delivery of high quality telephone counseling by training as a 24-Hour crisis intervention and suicide prevention telephone helpline counselor with the New Orleans Crisis Line.

In 1986, Dr. Michael concluded his five year "baptism by fire" crisis hotline counselor apprenticeship to pursue full-time academic study within two specialized graduate school programs in preparation of becoming the highly-trained and credentialed marriage counselor and sex therapist; subsequently earning his master of arts degree in clinical counseling psychology in 1989 and doctorate degree in clinical sexology in 1994.

Over three decades of telephone and office sessions with many thousands of clients worldwide since have deftly seasoned and helped Dr. Michael evolve into an exceptionally proficient clinician who continues today to excel in rendering aid, comfort and precious hope, whether face-to-face in his Hawaii office or worldwide telephonically.